We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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