oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
