I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
