covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Randomize
