remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
