The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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