dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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