I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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