I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
