I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize