My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
