The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
