this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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