Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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