I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
