I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize