Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
