I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
