You're completely useless in the revolution.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
