Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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