at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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