I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
