fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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