Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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