Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
birth control should be required to get into college
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
