So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Welp...herpes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
