you would pick up someone in the library
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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