downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
