Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
so much tequila, so little girl.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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