dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
