You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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