I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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