My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
