i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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