You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
