Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
