My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just found a bag of teeth...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
