I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
