My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
