i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
