And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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