I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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