you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
