theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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