i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
