matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
