woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
