just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
