I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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