i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
