how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
