either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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