you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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