He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can feel your judgement through the phone
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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