We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
