i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
