You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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