He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
