Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
